a good time

this week i am away.
we are spending time with friends
and family.
dawson finally arrived last night -
after much bus troubles.
we are skiing and snowboarding.
and hot springing.
the girls made fancy valentine cookies.

and we have plans to make homemade valentine cards.
the boys made us pizza.
the men have been playing pool -
and shooting the breeze.

the kids have been playing kinect,
and reading,
and exploring.
i have been re-learning crocheting -

and building colorful crocheted hats
to take to africa.
and knitting,
and drawing,
and eating,
and relaxing.
i am a lucky girl.

a hole

i have fallen into the same hole.
it is only january 19th -
and already i am jumping onto the busy train.
things just are always going to come up and
i am not always going to make the time
for what gives me peace.
yesterday i gave my time away to others
who needed my friendship and my listening ear.
but some of the time i felt selfish about it.
i know that it is not always about me
and i am called to do more
than just think about myself.
but it's hard.
this is a page in my sketchbook.

it is about my yoga class,
and teacher.
and how i appreciate what advice & insights she gives.
but it is also about how i know that there is only One
who can fill the hole in my soul -
and that is where i really need my focus to be.

a moment

well,
here i am -
almost a week since my last post.
and i could whinge about it,
and give many excuses -
but i won't. 
i didn't want it to be this way though.
i wanted to be regular enough blogger -
to have loyal followers -
who would read -
and miss me if i wasn't there.
i know that takes time - and patience.
and i haven't let any of my 'in person' friends know.
because i wanted to make 'new' friends.
i did finally get my first comment this week.
*insert joyful smile. (thank you michael).
so i know people are finding me.
i want to spend more time at this -
and sometimes i long to be here writing.
because i have much swirling around in my head.
i have moment before i tuck the kids into bed tonight
to post a piece from my sketchbook.

i wanted this blog to be a place to put this stuff.
and while i do have photos on here -
i want to do what i don't usually do.
does that make any sense?

a homebody

i am a homebody.
i love my house.
it really has everything i need -
i love the colors and most of the furniture.
i love the smell and how it is warm and inviting.

i love how my kids like to be home more than anywhere else.
i feel most peaceful when i can spend time
at home
doing homey things.
i strongly dislike the running around -
dropping kids off - picking them up -
school, piano, friends houses, shopping.
once i am out there doing it it's not so bad.
it's just the leaving.
when devin was in grade one-
he cried every morning for a few months
whenever i dropped him off.
he said it wasn't that he didn't like school,
or his teacher,
or his friends.
he just wanted to be home -
with me.
i know i just need to embrace this necessity,
and find a balance.
and schedule that works.
right now i need to go pick up a birthday gift for my sister -
and a space heater for my studio (brrr my fingers are numb) -
and pick up the kids -
and drive to piano...

a resolution

for many years i made resolutions.
or resolution.
always the same one.
then the last few years i gave up -
on that type of thinking.
i never followed through -
and figured it was useless to even try.
this year i want it to be different.
i have goals -
things i want to do -
things i want to accomplish.
so i will write them down this time -
and i will look back at it -
and keep myself in check.
i have good, honest ideas -
problem is....
i'm too rough on myself.
if things don't go exactly as planned -
it's over.
i need more flexibility - but -
if there's too much flex -
the little devil on my left shoulder takes over.
i need balance.
so here's what i want to accomplish
starting now.
- i want to get to know the God of the universe better.
- i want good health and a fit body that is able.
- i want to spend time and be more understanding
in my relationships.
- i want to be less of me and more of others.
- i want to spend more time creatively than ever before.
- i want to do a 365 project - a photo a day.
- i want to get to know my digital camera better.
- and learn photoshop.
- i want to live more peacefully - less scheduled -
but still productive.
- i want to enjoy life as it comes - in little things,
like laundry, cooking and cleaning bathrooms.
- i want to be more grateful & thankful & content
with who i am, and what i have.
-i want to finish what i start.
whew! that was a long list, i'm sure there is more,
but my brain is getting tired already just thinking about it.